You know Dr Phil don’t you, yea Dr Phil McGraw on TV the big Texan made famous by Oprah Winfrey after her big cattle trial down in the long horn state. Now don’t get thinking I’m Dr Phil fan however my wife TiVO’s him and I typically have to put up with him in the background many evenings as she fast forwards through the episodes. However yesterday he got me to put down my dinner fork which is a feat in its own and how did he accomplish this you ask?
Well to make a long story short, he (Phil) was telling a husband that he, Dr Phil knew that “he” the man he was speaking to loved his wife, the man’s wife that is. Ok, as the most subjective thing there is on this planet is love, ask 100 people and your likely to get 100 differing answers. So how did Dr Phil know this then, at first the idea he was some sort of mentalist popped into my head. However not for “love”, as if it was lying or just about any other rote issue I might be a buyer as the human animal is a predictable one at that.
As while there is the fictional show “The Mentalist” there several reality based programs popping up too which are even creepier or simply watch Chris Angel as he is more mentalist then magician. The point is you can read a person like a book, and if you know the “keys”, people will unknowingly give you all the answers. But back to Dr. Phil as again none of this was the case with him, so I stopped to ponder this for a few minutes and it hit me. As our TV Host friend speaks in “statements”, meaning “absolutes” and in an “absolute” way and the fact it’s his show and he does the talking also helps. The secret magic is still in the “statement” as I bet you’re saying everyone makes statements.
Not true, people for the most part make “comments” which are subjective and therefore fair game for your frontal lobe to play with as it wishes. On the other hand, “statements” are absolutes and head right for your lizard brain as if you were in battle and someone yelled “take cover” you’re not going to think about it as if you do natural selection will remove you from the gene pool for good. A simpler example is someone walks up and says “looks like its raining”, what do you do? Think about it for a minute as it can even be a down pour and you will “stop” to think about it. Now if that same person said “it’s raining”, your brain will most likely jump passed the assessment phase to the seeking cover to protect yourself from the elements as the down pour takes off.
What was even more interesting is these concepts are known to me, yet they were not obvious to me until I stopped to think about it as even being background noise I wasn’t pushing back. Because as a leader this is a key ability to understand, especially for those on the fast track. With this said, tomorrow let’s look at how this is applied in American politics…