As the old saying goes “honesty is the best policy” as what is honesty when you get down to it as one of the things which my wife is really good at is asking questions and frankly I am good with the fact she is the inquisitive type however just sometimes. As to give you an example we have remodeled and flipped many homes over the years and one of her favorite things to do is move walls. Yes, while many women may love to knit, play cards, garden and the like, yet not my wife as a wall to her is simply a future challenge. However the story would go something like can we move this wall say a divider between a kitchen and dining room and it be would be sure. However then she would want to remove one in the center of the house which would amount to no way (typically sides and centers walls are load bearing and required for the structural integrity of the house to stand)!
Her response would be “well you told me I could move that one” as to question my approach and knowledge of the subject and maybe even that I was being a little less then forthright with her to get my way as in a flip she is grandiose and I’m cheap. However everyone out there knows what I mean you’re asked questions all day long to reply with answers however there are always exceptions to the rules therefore over qualification causes people to tune out yet their perception of you is highly influenced my your comments as well as the luck of the draw. As if my wife went through life and never question the removal of a non-load bearing wall then she would never have had a reason to question me.
As a senior manager once upon a time a long while ago I was approached by an employee during a downsizing where they inquired about their job and while a promise was never made, they were a top performer and I had not placed them on the list which I submitted. Now I could not disclose the later that I did not place them on the list, however being a highly rated employee, I didn’t want to stare at them with a blank face either and have a flight risk. However unknown to me is my boss put them on the list basically because of a nepotistic act and didn’t tell me. So they ended up being released and to this day I feel I was not honest with them and bet they feel the same as they haven’t spoke to me since.
Yet I operated with the best intention and with the honesty which I knew at the time, the outcome however was something short. So how many times have you said something with honest intent only to find you where wrong by “exception” thus a dishonest result? Obviously intent is a key aspect of all interaction as it’s just like Christmas it’s not the gift that counts, however the thought given to it…